Developmental Milestones for 9-11 Year Olds

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

• Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
• Experience more peer pressure
• Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.

Thinking and Learning

• Children in this age group might:
• Face more academic challenges at school
• Become more independent from the family
• Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly
• Have an increased attention span

When a Neuropsychological Evaluation and Consultation may be appropriate:

• Your child is more frustrated by the demands of upper elementary school.
• Your child has not responded to Title 1 reading support during 1st and 2nd grades. Reading continues to be slow and laborious.
• Your child’s activity level is more readily recognized by peers and impacts the quality of relationships.
• Your child’s attention appears less secure when they are required to engage in activities they have not self-selected.
• Errors of precision happen when your child completes work independently.
• You feel as though you need to increasingly “hover” or “helicopter” over your child to insure their success.
• Teachers raise concern about your child’s ability to manage the added demands of middle school
• Your child’s self-confidence towards learning appears eroded.
• Your child’s medical team has raised concern about how her past history may impact learning.
• You feel your child’s school does not understand his learning profile.
• Limited gains have been met through your child’s educational program.
• Your child’s behavior is radically different at home than when in school.
• Your child’s academic achievement has significantly dropped after transitioning from a predominately single teacher to multiple teacher system.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

• Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.
• Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
• Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.
• Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
• Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
• Meet the families of your child’s friends.
• Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
• Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
• Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.
• Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.
• When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying “you must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.
• Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
• Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
• Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.